tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post4607805760069139096..comments2023-04-05T05:54:22.366-06:00Comments on Just Us Girls: Parents + expectations = ???Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13361585193237968343noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post-36980682792151497502009-10-30T22:09:05.822-06:002009-10-30T22:09:05.822-06:00That's so hard. I had a period of distance fro...That's so hard. I had a period of distance from my parents (and, truthfully, from almost everyone I know) during my divorce. It's hard on everyone when the kind or amount of support provided doesn't fit in with what's wanted or needed.<br /><br />I hope (and predict) that time will help with this and, in the meantime, I agree with Samantha: If keeping some distance feels right to you at the moment, it's perfectly fine to do that.<br /><br />Being good at meeting your own needs and being kind to yourself is one of the best ways to ensure you're the best mother you can be for your child.Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16453489879246452921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post-33312054181744503492009-10-30T17:59:38.932-06:002009-10-30T17:59:38.932-06:00Hey, SO sorry that you are going through this. It ...Hey, SO sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like it really hurts, and I totally understand why. My only idea would be that spending actual face time with them might HELP. They will see you in your new role as a pregnant/mom to be, see how it fits you like a glove, and, hopefully, communication can open (and real support can begin). You so deserve that. You deserve celebration and awe! Hang in there, sorry you are feeling down, and remember that beautiful little girl inside you who's going to be your everything in a few, short months.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08518657316168437449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post-40076762409992259042009-10-29T18:41:56.211-06:002009-10-29T18:41:56.211-06:00I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by your pare...I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by your parents. It doesn't seem to matter how old we get, when it comes to our parents they have incredible power over us, don't they? <br /><br />I sometimes need to distance myself from calling my parents to protect my feelings. In my case, I avoid calling when I know (via my sister) my mom has been spending time with her friends' grandchildren. A phone conversation would consist of all of the wonderfully funny stories about what one of the toddlers said or did, and it doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell my mother I really don't care to hear about it (read: because it HURTS) she always slips and out it comes.<br /><br />But I digress. Have you considered sharing your feelings with them about your birthday, and about feeling like you are truly on your own? Is there any chance they have made assumptions about you wanting to be on your own (given your current journey) or do they fear saying or doing the wrong thing because they don't quite understand your choices?<br /><br />Maybe a conversation would help you in the not-knowing department. That can't be a good place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post-48745500339339607452009-10-29T17:00:29.358-06:002009-10-29T17:00:29.358-06:00First of all "Happy,happy birthday". I ...First of all "Happy,happy birthday". I just turned 40 in September, so I know that it feels like a big birthday. It is.<br /><br />And I'm sorry your parents are not reacting in the way you would expect. I see nothing wrong with having expectations from those you love,and I'm sorry they aren't meeting yours. <br /><br />I hope you guys are able to work everything out.Genkicathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16588371829033093762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7739107438723417053.post-16982488625092173922009-10-29T10:20:41.088-06:002009-10-29T10:20:41.088-06:00I've been going through it with my parents. I...I've been going through it with my parents. I don't think you being hurt is something you should try to change. Family is supposed to be supportive. And though you've outlined it in terms of the material things they aren't doing, it sounds like more importantly they aren't doing the emotional things you need, like being excite about their new grandbaby, helping you plan, etc. <br /><br />If you haven't expressed how your feeling before, you may want to...they may not realize how hurtful it is. But after that, take care of you, don't call if you don't want to, do go to Tgiving if you don't want to. I hope it goes well! I'll keep you in my prayersSamanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00717891160388620268noreply@blogger.com