Things (and people) I can't get enough of...

Heidi Klum and Seal. Cutest couple ever. Their kids are absolutely *beautiful*. I just find their story to be, well, magical. I love this video, and I never knew Heidi could sing! I know it's "just" a video, but I love the way they look at each other here, and I can't help but believe that it's the real thing. (I could do without the vapid models at the beginning and end, but like they say, sometimes you have to take the bad along with the good.) Oh, and let's face it, shall we...Seal is damn sexy. That voice...



I will never ever ever get tired of even the reruns of my absolute favorite show of all time, Bones. (Gee, Heather, tell us what you REALLY think!) Seriously, I. Can't. Get. Enough. I love the dynamics between the two actors, I love the ensemble cast of characters, I love the storylines, I love the humor, I love the sexual tension between Brennan and Booth. I love all of it. I need to start buying the DVD's. But only after all the baby stuff has been purchased. :) I have even started reading the novels by Kathy Reichs, one of the producers of the show, who is also an actual forensic anthropologist. The science behind what she actually does I find absolutely fascinating. The Dr. Brennan in the books is NOT the same as in the show, but I've gotten over that minor technicality and I still enjoy the heck out of the books as well as the show.




Patty Griffin. Amaaazing singer/songwriter. I've seen her live twice, and I can't wait to go again, whenever that might be. Lovelovelove her. You can find some of my favorites of hers on my playlist on the sidebar.

To be continued...

Time traveling

My visit with my parents (and my aunt and uncle) in upstate New York was just...incredibly special. From the touching prayer my father said at our Thanksgiving dinner table--after he finished, Mom and I looked up at each other with tears in our eyes--to the evening hours spent playing cards, bantering and laughing with one another, it was fabulous. I can't believe my visit is over...I'm now back in Colorado, and in all honesty I can't shake this sadness that I couldn't spend more time with them. I think of my aunt and uncle here in Colorado who are lucky enough to get to see their kids and grandkids all the time, and I really wish it were possible for ALL families as well as mine.

• Double digits!! Only 98 more days to go!!

• Baby Girl kicked like crazy while I was in New York, which was SO reassuring. I will never get tired of feeling those kicks!

• I still don't know what my Christmas plans are. I don't think I'll be traveling, especially considering how challenging the second leg of my trip was today. I was seated in a window seat and we were delayed at takeoff for a full 40 minutes because of an overflowing sink in one of the lavatories...it was unbelievably hot and stuffy and claustrophobic in the plane, and I felt like I was going to pass out. The fellow in front of me had his seat reclined for the entire three hours of the flight, so I basically had my knees up my nose (I'm six feet tall) and for whatever reason, I couldn't recline MY seat either. I don't usually find myself feeling claustrophobic, but I definitely did today. Anyway, we talked this week about still possibly going up to Red Wing MN, where my brother and sister-in-law live, or having my parents fly out here. There is a ton of family out here who would love to see them.

• The only word that comes to mind about much of my visit is "profound". I slept in the same twin bed I had slept in since I was about four, which of course took me mentally right back to my childhood. There is an antique vanity in my bedroom that was my mother's when she was a girl, and it's been in my room ever since I can remember. I looked at my reflection the same way I did as I was growing up, but this time I was a forty-year-old grown woman with her own daughter on the way. It was almost as though as I looked at my forty-year-old self, I could still see the girl I was at all those different stages of life, like layers of an onion, or those little Russian nesting dolls I once played with. It was both profound and surreal, in ways I can't even put into words right now. (This is where the title of this post comes in. I have more to say about it all, but I need to process things a bit more first.)
  

• Mom gave me the little white dress and slip that she wore when she was baptized as a baby (and she thinks maybe her sister did, too)...the embroidery is so incredibly delicate. It's gorgeous. I'm thinking of having her baptized at the Easter Vigil service the night before Easter, which is historically the traditional time for us Lutherans to be baptized. I can't wait to talk to my pastor about it.

• SO much fun to go through the tiny baby girl things my mother has saved from my childhood for my little daughter! Thankfully, since I was the only girl, there is very little wear and tear. A few are a little too dated for my taste, but so many are just adorable, and perfect for her. We packed them all up and Mom is going to ship them to me.

All in all, a fantastic visit. I'm so glad I went. But I can't believe how fast those five days flew by! I am SO not ready to go back to school on Monday...but I know it has to be done. Gotta keep telling myself, only three more weeks till Christmas, only three more weeks... :)

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

but I DO know when I'll be back again: Saturday! Yep, I'm off to upstate New York for Thanksgiving, and I am SO looking forward to it! Things with my family are a TON better, so I think it'll be a very enjoyable visit. Plus my aunt and uncle are driving up from Virginia, and I don't get to see them very often, so I'm looking forward to that too.

I know I'll be blogging while I'm gone and possibly posting pictures. But until then...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Don't know 'bout you, but I have TONS to be thankful for this year!!

Can't hardly believe it...

I cried today. (Yeah, I know, NO surprise there!!)

But interestingly enough, it wasn't over the unfathomably unprofessional way I was treated by the principal and the secretaries this morning. (No, sorry, it wasn't just the hormones. In the five years I've been working at my school, I have NEVER been treated that way, and never as publicly. I would have reacted exactly the same had I not been pregnant. Yes, really.)

Nope, I am just incredibly ecstatic for two of my friends, who are now pregnant. Both L. and S. have been trying for OVER THREE YEARS respectively, and I don't think I could be any happier for them!! I knew I was going to bawl (well, I didn't exactly bawl, but close) when S. was finally able to say she and her husband K. are pregnant...even sitting here right now, I can't even believe it's finally happened for them! I know it's been so hard for both L. and S., watching several of us at my school achieve pregnancy when that was the elusive thing they yearned for the most. I've been there. I know how it feels. Since last spring I'm pregnant girl #4, with L. and S. numbers five and six. And L. followed in my footsteps, right down to using the same fertility clinic and sperm bank. (Yeah, I know I mentioned her in the last two posts, but I'm so excited for her!) But both of them pregnant? At the same time?? I must be dreaming!! If I am, it's one of the best dreams I've ever had. :)

So now I need to pray as hard as I can that their pregnancies will stick. Fingers and toes: crossed.

Gratitude

Okay, I admit it: I'm a thief. I stole this idea from the coolest smart girl I know, Melissa, and I'm going to run with it because I feel like my last few posts have been such downers!

So here goes: these are just a few things I'm grateful for, in no particular order...

• My friend L might just be pregnant!!!!! See my previous post for some of the particulars. I get permagrin every time I think about it! Another SMC-to-be who will be pregnant at the same time I am, we can trade off information, advice, and babysitting favors, you get the idea. SO excited.

• So far, a strong and healthy baby girl. 'Nuff said. That's the biggest one of all.
  

• I get to fly to upstate NY next Tuesday for Thanksgiving with my parents and my aunt and uncle! I haven't been back for six or seven years, so this is kind of long-awaited. Plus I think there's something special about returning to the house I grew up in now that I'm pregnant with my first child...like coming full circle. Mom has been busy washing teeny tiny baby girl clothes for me, and it'll be quite the special experience to go through them together.

• I have such an amazing, incredible extended family here in CO, and I feel SO blessed that they will be such an integral part of my daughter's life. I see them so regularly that they're basically my on-location immediate family. There are very few people that I admire and respect more than this Colorado family...they are so incredibly special to me!

• My new Calphalon Contemporary pans--love love LOVE them! My collection is growing, and it's fun to add to it, piece by piece.

• First snows in Colorado...SO beautiful. And peaceful.

• Little kicks every day!! They're getting stronger. Wow, I so can't wait to meet this little girl. <3

• I think I have her name finalized in my mind. Not sharing (yet), but I absolutely love her first and middle names. Her first name is Irish, but not overly so...the donor is Irish and German, so it works. Plus he's a redhead, and I'm so hoping she'll get some of that, even though I'm pretty sure it's recessive. Her middle name is a variation on my wonderful grandmother's first name, and I love the rhythm of her first, middle, and last names together.

• I've been amazed to receive quite a few gifts lately from my students, today being no exception. :) Today I was thrilled to receive a HANDMADE burp cloth from a girl in one of my classes! She stitched that hem so carefully, and it turned out great! I also received homemade grape jam made by the mom of one of the boys in another of my classes! Eleven-year-olds...they often drive me crazy, but you just gotta love 'em!!

• Hot mulled cider. Turkey sandwiches with cheddar and big slices of tomato. Ice-cold chocolate milk. Just a few of my favorites these days. :)

• ANY episodes of Bones. Re-runs, I don't care. I love every. single. one. Now I need to invest in the DVD box sets...

Okay, so these are just a few of the things I'm thankful for...I know I'll be adding to this list. :)

The circle of life

Wow, the last few days really have felt like a good news/bad news split! No idea why. Which has led me to think harder about the cyclical nature of life...the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, inevitable death followed by new life.

I've been in a bit of a funk today...last night I found out that one of my former students was killed in a one-car rollover crash on Saturday night. I remember him well--one of the brightest kids in his class, and he seemed to have such a promising future. I'm sad that it ended at age 24. He made the decision not to wear his seatbelt that night, and was ejected upon impact. My heart goes out to his parents...I can't imagine what they're going through right now. I'm going to see if I can find out their address so I can send at least a card, letting them know that I remember him and that they're in my thoughts and prayers.

At the very same time...I'm ecstatic! It's looking promising that my friend L might actually be pregnant!!!!!!!!! Once she saw that my diui actually worked (against all odds), she decided to follow the same path that I did, using the same fertility clinic and same sperm bank. Different donor, of course. She got a positive digital HPT last night, about five days before her expected period this Friday. I'm a bit surprised that she could have gotten a BFP so soon before her period, but as far as I've read, false positives are extremely rare, and she did use one of the early-detection varieties of HPT. She was on Clomid, but no other meds that would cause a false HcG reading. So...I am cautiously thrilled for her--I SO hope it turns out the way we're both praying it will!!!! She's 42, and if it did actually work, I can't get over the fact that it may have worked on the very first try. She's going to test again later in the week, and I cannot wait to find out!!!! So glad there seems to be good news to balance out the sad. Tomorrow's another day, as my mom likes to say.

Is it really just hormones?

Nope, I don't think so. I almost titled this mini-post, "Welcome to the rollercoaster" because sometimes that's how things happen, hormones or not.

I'm thrilled for K over at Tails, I Go...she's had so much s**t thrown her way lately, and she completely deserves things to turn around for her, which they seem to be starting to. Congrats on the new place, and I continue to be awed by your strength!

At the same time, my heart is completely broken for another blogger I just "met"...I'm thinking she wants to lay low right now, so I won't identify her. They found no heartbeat at her nine week ultrasound (after she heard it at weeks six and seven), and I honestly don't know how anyone gets through one miscarriage, let alone several. It's so unfair. You're in my thoughts and prayers.