Just Us Girls

Just Us Girls

...one SMC's adventures in single motherhood.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Probably my last T42 attempt...

Yes.  Things are really picking up speed in this could-be-last Hail Mary attempt for number two.  (no offense to Catholicism intended, I swear)  I don't know whether I have another attempt in me, though I'm so completely thankful my RE is willing to go ahead with this try.  He actually seems to have NO problem with it whatsoever, possibly because I really don't have any fertility issues other than advanced maternal age (oy), and because I actually managed to have a healthy baby at the ripe old age of forty.  Forty!
He likes to say that I am in the rare one to two percentile category on the bell curve, which I guess is kinda flattering, maybe.  He also has a sister, Nancy, who had a baby naturally (!!!!) at age forty-seven, so you might say he knows that crazy miracles can happen.

  • I just finished five days of letro.zole (Fem.ara), and not a moment too soon.  I swear I had a low-grade headache nonstop for all five days.  I don't remember any side effects from last time, but then again, I can't deny that I'm getting older...
  • I did my first Folli.stim injection tonight, and it wasn't too bad at all.  Thank goodness I had a video to follow along with.  The injections 101 appointment with the nurse at my RE's office took a full hour and a half, probably because although she had watched the injections process taught to someone else, she had never done the teaching by herself before.  It all worked out fine because we just went over the instructions booklet together, but holy buckets, that appointment was long.  I have two more injections tomorrow evening and Sunday evening.
  • My next ultrasound appointment is bright and early Monday morning.  He's going to check the state of my follicles, and decide when I should do the Ovi.drel shot to trigger ovulation.  Insem day might actually be this coming week!  Yikes!
  • I turned forty-four on the eighth of this month.  Great birthday, but sobering as well, considering what a long shot this is.  But somehow I feel really, really hopeful, too.  I don't know why.
So there you have it.  I have a BIG week ahead of me.  I keep trying and trying to prepare myself that in all likelihood, this attempt probably won't work.  But it's hard.  Really hard.  I still feel hopeful, maybe because I've never done injectables before and now I really am doing the absolute most I can manage (can't afford IVF, after all).  I really want this to work.  Like, I can't even put into words how badly I want this to work.  And this blog space is pretty much the only place I can be completely honest about that. 

It's going to be a very, very sad day for me if it doesn't work.  But I also know that I'll just be sad and move on, because I am lucky enough to have the world's most awesome 3.5 year old girl who brightens up every little corner of my world. And that's no small thing.

(Another post all about her is coming soon.)

Here is a pic of my beautiful new niece, Piper Rose, whose one-month birthday is this Tuesday, October 22nd:


  1. Thinking of you because I know how personal and painful it is to T42. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions. I can tell you in all honesty, from the other side, there are true advantages on both sides of the fence. I wish you the very best on your journey. Enjoy this weekend with your wonderful little girl.

  2. Good luck this week, I hope you have perfect timing!!!

  3. I really hope you're one that can do it at 44 - we all know it can happen! Fingers and toes crossed for you!

  4. I really hope this works. I have not had this struggle but can imagine how hard it is. I have to say I agree with Lara -- that there truly are advantages to either one child or two. I guess our challenge in this life is to give everything we have to realize our dreams, and then face our reality with appreciation for the gifts we do have - you obviously understand that. Good luck to you!

  5. Good luck this week! Thinking of you!