Jeez, has it really been this long since I last posted?!
Life has kept both K and me quite busy. But thankfully, as of yesterday at 3:41 pm, we are now ON VACATION! For a blessed two and a half weeks.
We fly out to upstate New York on Tuesday to spend Christmas with my parents. We leave from Denver, about an hour's drive, at 4 pm, which is nice since it gives us enough time to get up there and get our ducks in a row without having to get up at the crack of dawn. One layover in each direction, which is definitely better than two, but our layovers are VERY short, only an hour for each one. So I have every finger and toe crossed that we won't have any weather delays that could throw a wrench into the strategic plan. We arrive late, at about midnight, and I'm glad that for most of the trip, K will potentially be sleeping. One thing I have to do on Monday is to see if I can pick up her birth certificate, something I've been planning to do for a long time now but just didn't get around to it. Why the hospital doesn't just provide it to a new parent after the birth is beyond me. But anyway, travel with a toddler is always...interesting. K has always been a great traveler, but that was when she was quite a bit younger. The last time she flew on a plane was at nine months old. Like I said, I'm SO glad she will potentially be sleeping for most of the trip... Wish us luck!
We both very recently got over (well, K is still getting over it) what I think might have been norovirus. It was a naaaasty stomach virus that K got first and then so generously passed on to me a couple of days later. Definitely hit both of us like a ton of bricks. I had to miss the first three days of the last week before Christmas break, which is a pretty hellish week in the typical American middle school. But my subs seemed to survive pretty well, thank goodness. K is still getting over it, though I'm so glad she's no longer throwing up. It's been going around our city like wildfire, and the pediatrician was not surprised at all to hear of another report of it.
Otherwise...life has pretty much been going along as usual. This little girl has been learning new words each day, and can imitate words that I say, quite well. She has a brand-new pair of very cute glasses on order, so I will definitely post a picture once they come in. We see her PO (pediatric ophthalmologist) in early January to see how her vision is doing...I'm very curious to get the latest. Overall she's a very sweet-tempered, active, inquisitive little girl, though lately we've been struggling with her wanting to throw toys across the room (ain't happening, sweetheart, sorry) and sometimes trying to pinch me or smack me with her hand. Nothing serious in the grand scheme of things, most likely typical for toddlers her age, and par for the course. Not too many tantrums either, thank goodness. She has her moments, though. She's been willing to sit on the potty now and then, though I haven't been pushing it whatsoever. She's been telling me after she's peed or pooped in her diaper, which I know is a sign of readiness, but she's not always accurate about which one. :) I think I might get a bit more involved in potty training after the holidays, though she doesn't even turn two until March, so I know it's still a bit early. Early also according to her daycare providers.
Still no news on the whether-to-try-again-for-another-child front. Things are so nice, so comfortable, with just the two of us. And I'm having serious doubts about whether or not I could handle two. Being sick like we were kind of drove it home to me...not to mention how I had to ask my aunt last Friday to pick up K from daycare and keep her at her house for a few more hours until I could pick her up. I was scheduled to be observed by my principal that afternoon, something that happens only once per year, and it would have been very difficult to reschedule. My aunt and uncle also watched K yesterday and Thursday because she was not permitted to return to daycare until Monday at the earliest. I can't imagine asking them to watch two kids, especially when I'm not so sure they'd be supportive of me having a second child in the first place. So many question marks. Not enough answers. So I will bide my time until I have a better idea of what, if anything, I want to do next.
Just Us Girls
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thankful and very, very blessed
Happy Thanksgiving to all of my cyber-pals! It's been a wonderful week with my parents, who traveled out here to Colorado from New York. They came out last Thursday and will leave next Tuesday. They've really enjoyed all of the quality time with little miss K...we have spent so much time just sitting back and watching her! I swear, this little girl has picked up new words every single DAY. She's changed so much just since last Friday! It makes my head spin. Her words are getting more and more clear and easy to understand, and she's imitating our speech like crazy. Not to mention all of the running around and climbing on all sorts of stuff. Her favorite place to play is on the stairs (!!!) but she's really navigating them well, and her favorite way of coming down is by sliding all the way down on her tummy as fast as she can, bumpbumpbumpbumpbump...feet first, thank goodness. We're working on counting, colors, numbers, letters, and naming everything in sight. Not that she's ready for ALL of it yet, but she'll learn it all eventually.
This is the BEST age!! She is SO much fun, she's like this little sponge that soaks everything in, and she's so incredibly funny! Such a jokester...totally has my family's sense of humor. I know it's going to be so hard to bring her back to daycare on Monday...we've spent such wonderful time together this week! I guess the secret is to savor every moment.
I for one am incredibly grateful for a wonderful little girl who is my everything, for (so far) good health, for two terrific parents who are also incredible and doting grandparents, for a good place to live in which I feel completely at home and comfortable, for a dependable job (even though it can be such an uphill struggle sometimes), and for all of the wonderful people I am blessed to have in my life. Lots to be thankful for, indeed!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
This is the BEST age!! She is SO much fun, she's like this little sponge that soaks everything in, and she's so incredibly funny! Such a jokester...totally has my family's sense of humor. I know it's going to be so hard to bring her back to daycare on Monday...we've spent such wonderful time together this week! I guess the secret is to savor every moment.
I for one am incredibly grateful for a wonderful little girl who is my everything, for (so far) good health, for two terrific parents who are also incredible and doting grandparents, for a good place to live in which I feel completely at home and comfortable, for a dependable job (even though it can be such an uphill struggle sometimes), and for all of the wonderful people I am blessed to have in my life. Lots to be thankful for, indeed!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Have to.
I just have to have two.
...sweetbeautifulfunnyamazinglovingwonderful little ones.
I just have to.
That is all.
(Hey, gimme a break. This is the only space in which I can actually speak/write/say these words out loud. I tried to do so in real life, told my parents that I did another insemination in early October, and let's just say they were less than supportive. It's hard because like it or not, in my heart of hearts I do care what they think.)
I so hope I can give it another shot in January. Happy new year to me?
...sweetbeautifulfunnyamazinglovingwonderful little ones.
I just have to.
That is all.
(Hey, gimme a break. This is the only space in which I can actually speak/write/say these words out loud. I tried to do so in real life, told my parents that I did another insemination in early October, and let's just say they were less than supportive. It's hard because like it or not, in my heart of hearts I do care what they think.)
I so hope I can give it another shot in January. Happy new year to me?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Ten Ways NOT to Raise a Toddler!
Okay, so I LOVED this, I had a crappy day at work today, and I just had to share:
***********************************************************************************
Ten Ways NOT to Raise a Toddler
-Mira Jacob
I am a parenting editor and a mom. This means that all day, every day, I read about how to raise better children, and then go home and mess with my own. You know, it's all fun and games until the therapy bill arrives! In full acknowledgment of how little my advice will help any parent out there, I've decided to stick to letting the wonderful experts on this site tell you what to do, and give you this handy picture guide on what to DON'T:
1. DON'T ask, "Why did you do that?" Why did you bite that boy? Why did you hit your sister? Why is there spaghetti in your ear? Why am I asking you a question you can't possibly answer in any way that will make me feel better? Oh yes, because it's easier than accepting the idea that I am in charge of a tiny lunatic.
2. DON'T be surprised by the number of things that can end up in your toilet. This includes shoes, spatulas, cell phones, small animals, keys, and a whole eggplant that looks an awful lot like a human head to your middle-of-the-night eyes.
3. DON'T be surprised by the number of things that can NOT end up in your toilet. Number two, for example, can occasionally end up in your purse.
4. DON'T assume that repeating directions increases their likelihood of being followed. DON'T assume that repeating directions increases their likelihood of being followed
5. DON'T over-explain adult situations. "Sorry, honey. Mommy is just in a bad mood because she doesn't understand why she chose to make a living on the Internets. And taking out a second mortgage to fund your preschool appears not to have been the prudent thing to do. And wow, your sitter is expensive! That noise? Oh, that's just Daddy weeping through the wall."
6. DON'T say, "Let's wash your hair!" This is akin to saying, "Let's put this large needle in your eyeball." If you really feel like you have to warn your toddler about the upcoming sudsing, consider something relatively benign and tangentially related, like, "Let's put this large needle in your eyeball."
7. DON'T wear a short skirt to a toddler birthday party. You know that fantasy you have about being unintentionally violated by giddy elves? Yeah, me neither.
8. DON'T let a boy shorter than the toilet try to pee standing up. Too late for that? Try not yelling helpful tips like, "Point your penis up!" Too late for that? Wipe your chin.
9. DON'T ask if your toddler if he wants to do something you need him to do. This includes Do You Want To Wear A Jacket? Do You Want To Eat Something? Do You Want To Hug Grandma? Do You Want To Wash Your Hair? and Do You Want to Keep Me From Running Out The Door To Jamaica?
10. DON'T try to catch vomit in your hands. A) It doesn't work. B) You don't get points for trying. C) You get vomit in your hands.
- Mira Jacob
...a tiny lunatic indeed! :)
(I still haven't found my cell phone. Thanks, sweetie.)
***********************************************************************************
Ten Ways NOT to Raise a Toddler
-Mira Jacob
I am a parenting editor and a mom. This means that all day, every day, I read about how to raise better children, and then go home and mess with my own. You know, it's all fun and games until the therapy bill arrives! In full acknowledgment of how little my advice will help any parent out there, I've decided to stick to letting the wonderful experts on this site tell you what to do, and give you this handy picture guide on what to DON'T:
1. DON'T ask, "Why did you do that?" Why did you bite that boy? Why did you hit your sister? Why is there spaghetti in your ear? Why am I asking you a question you can't possibly answer in any way that will make me feel better? Oh yes, because it's easier than accepting the idea that I am in charge of a tiny lunatic.
2. DON'T be surprised by the number of things that can end up in your toilet. This includes shoes, spatulas, cell phones, small animals, keys, and a whole eggplant that looks an awful lot like a human head to your middle-of-the-night eyes.
3. DON'T be surprised by the number of things that can NOT end up in your toilet. Number two, for example, can occasionally end up in your purse.
4. DON'T assume that repeating directions increases their likelihood of being followed. DON'T assume that repeating directions increases their likelihood of being followed
5. DON'T over-explain adult situations. "Sorry, honey. Mommy is just in a bad mood because she doesn't understand why she chose to make a living on the Internets. And taking out a second mortgage to fund your preschool appears not to have been the prudent thing to do. And wow, your sitter is expensive! That noise? Oh, that's just Daddy weeping through the wall."
6. DON'T say, "Let's wash your hair!" This is akin to saying, "Let's put this large needle in your eyeball." If you really feel like you have to warn your toddler about the upcoming sudsing, consider something relatively benign and tangentially related, like, "Let's put this large needle in your eyeball."
7. DON'T wear a short skirt to a toddler birthday party. You know that fantasy you have about being unintentionally violated by giddy elves? Yeah, me neither.
8. DON'T let a boy shorter than the toilet try to pee standing up. Too late for that? Try not yelling helpful tips like, "Point your penis up!" Too late for that? Wipe your chin.
9. DON'T ask if your toddler if he wants to do something you need him to do. This includes Do You Want To Wear A Jacket? Do You Want To Eat Something? Do You Want To Hug Grandma? Do You Want To Wash Your Hair? and Do You Want to Keep Me From Running Out The Door To Jamaica?
10. DON'T try to catch vomit in your hands. A) It doesn't work. B) You don't get points for trying. C) You get vomit in your hands.
- Mira Jacob
...a tiny lunatic indeed! :)
(I still haven't found my cell phone. Thanks, sweetie.)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Regrouping...and still unsure
Ever since the dreaded BFN, I've found myself wondering whether two kids is truly doable for me. Still not sure. REALLY not sure. Enough so that I know it's a good move to wait on trying again until I have a better grasp on what I want to do next. Seriously, I really have NO idea. I don't know whether I can handle the additional stress that a second child would bring into my life.
I keep trying to envision my little family with just K and me. And some days, I can easily envision us as just a family of two. Other days it's a *lot* harder. A lot harder to accept that possibility. Especially when my cousin just gave birth to her second child two weeks ago, and they live only an hour away, and right now I am NOT in a good enough frame of mind to actually look forward to visiting. We are supposed to travel to a birthday party for the new baby's cousin, my cousin Will who is turning six, on Sunday. I think I'm secretly glad that K has the sniffles, which is enough to cancel this plan since she can't really be around a newborn or my 88 year old grandmother (who is on oxygen) right now. I know we'll meet the little guy, named Miles (Dean is his middle name), at some point, but right now in my mind there is absolutely no hurry. At least not until I'm in a better frame of mind. It's been a very rough week.
(...and you know what's really been ticking me off lately? Thinking about women like my cousin--whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong--who haven't really had to work hard at much at all. Things just seem to fall easily into her lap. Great husband? Check. Gorgeous house? Check. Lawyer husband with an income that allows her to stay at home and also work part-time from home and not have to pay for daycare? Check. Two beautiful kids? Check. Peaceful home VBAC birth in a birthing tub? Check. Close enough to restaurants, shops and any other destination one might need that they can just walk or ride a bike around town? Check. Yeah, it does make me vaguely nauseous. Happy for her, yes, but still vaguely nauseous. A charmed life for sure.)
One thing I do know is that my emotions are very raw right now for a variety of reasons, not just the BFN. I know for sure that I very much WANT a second child...but I am just not sure whether I can handle it, both emotionally and financially.
I am on the hunt for another (better) daycare for K. Which does break my heart somewhat because I do feel quite comfortable with her current daycare. Sadly, my wallet does not. It's a lot more expensive than other smaller daycares (home daycares, mainly) in my area, and quite honestly, even though I feel very comfortable with it, I don't feel like I'm getting the bang for my buck that I should be getting, considering how much I'm currently paying. I have a few phone numbers of home daycares that friends of mine have been raving about, so I know it's worth a look. Plus (and this is not the main reason, but it's still on my mind) K's current daycare now has two 21-ish men on their payroll, and I do NOT like the idea of either of these two very young men changing K's diaper. Ever. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I feel. They only fill in around pick-up time, so it's entirely possible they've never had to change her diaper, but I still don't like it at all. And one day when I picked her up and one of the men was the only one in her classroom, her shoes were on backwards. Not confusing shoes, either. I know, such a little thing, but hey, if you're working with new walkers, you have no business putting on their shoes backwards. To me it's such an obvious thing. Just sayin'.
So needless to say I have a lot on my plate and a lot on my mind these days. I'm just praying for a little clarity...in a lot of different areas. Wish me luck.
I keep trying to envision my little family with just K and me. And some days, I can easily envision us as just a family of two. Other days it's a *lot* harder. A lot harder to accept that possibility. Especially when my cousin just gave birth to her second child two weeks ago, and they live only an hour away, and right now I am NOT in a good enough frame of mind to actually look forward to visiting. We are supposed to travel to a birthday party for the new baby's cousin, my cousin Will who is turning six, on Sunday. I think I'm secretly glad that K has the sniffles, which is enough to cancel this plan since she can't really be around a newborn or my 88 year old grandmother (who is on oxygen) right now. I know we'll meet the little guy, named Miles (Dean is his middle name), at some point, but right now in my mind there is absolutely no hurry. At least not until I'm in a better frame of mind. It's been a very rough week.
(...and you know what's really been ticking me off lately? Thinking about women like my cousin--whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong--who haven't really had to work hard at much at all. Things just seem to fall easily into her lap. Great husband? Check. Gorgeous house? Check. Lawyer husband with an income that allows her to stay at home and also work part-time from home and not have to pay for daycare? Check. Two beautiful kids? Check. Peaceful home VBAC birth in a birthing tub? Check. Close enough to restaurants, shops and any other destination one might need that they can just walk or ride a bike around town? Check. Yeah, it does make me vaguely nauseous. Happy for her, yes, but still vaguely nauseous. A charmed life for sure.)
One thing I do know is that my emotions are very raw right now for a variety of reasons, not just the BFN. I know for sure that I very much WANT a second child...but I am just not sure whether I can handle it, both emotionally and financially.
I am on the hunt for another (better) daycare for K. Which does break my heart somewhat because I do feel quite comfortable with her current daycare. Sadly, my wallet does not. It's a lot more expensive than other smaller daycares (home daycares, mainly) in my area, and quite honestly, even though I feel very comfortable with it, I don't feel like I'm getting the bang for my buck that I should be getting, considering how much I'm currently paying. I have a few phone numbers of home daycares that friends of mine have been raving about, so I know it's worth a look. Plus (and this is not the main reason, but it's still on my mind) K's current daycare now has two 21-ish men on their payroll, and I do NOT like the idea of either of these two very young men changing K's diaper. Ever. The more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I feel. They only fill in around pick-up time, so it's entirely possible they've never had to change her diaper, but I still don't like it at all. And one day when I picked her up and one of the men was the only one in her classroom, her shoes were on backwards. Not confusing shoes, either. I know, such a little thing, but hey, if you're working with new walkers, you have no business putting on their shoes backwards. To me it's such an obvious thing. Just sayin'.
So needless to say I have a lot on my plate and a lot on my mind these days. I'm just praying for a little clarity...in a lot of different areas. Wish me luck.
Monday, October 24, 2011
BFN
...and I'm sad.
Not unexpected, really, but I'm still sad nonetheless.
Frustrated because I can't afford to try again in November. December, maybe, but now I've missed my summer window (for a summer delivery), and that's frustrating too. And now I'm starting to question being able to handle (and afford) two kids in the first place. I *really* don't feel like my family will be complete without two siblings. But I'm not sure I can make it happen, and not shortchange K, both financially and emotionally. This is SO frustrating. I wish there were a "right" answer out there somewhere.
I've gotta snap out of this funk.
I don't feel like myself.
I don't like it.
Not unexpected, really, but I'm still sad nonetheless.
Frustrated because I can't afford to try again in November. December, maybe, but now I've missed my summer window (for a summer delivery), and that's frustrating too. And now I'm starting to question being able to handle (and afford) two kids in the first place. I *really* don't feel like my family will be complete without two siblings. But I'm not sure I can make it happen, and not shortchange K, both financially and emotionally. This is SO frustrating. I wish there were a "right" answer out there somewhere.
I've gotta snap out of this funk.
I don't feel like myself.
I don't like it.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Bad Mommy Moment UPDATED
Yes, I know I'm not a bad mom. It was just the hindsight talking. I was wishing that I'd thought to suspect strep, and I was worried that K would catch it because I didn't treat it nearly as soon as I should have. Thank you, everyone, for your comments!
We saw the doctor this morning, and thankfully she does not have strep. She does, however, have sounds in her left lung that the doctor characterized as possible "walking pneumonia". I'm not frantic at all about that, and I suspected it because I kept hearing "rasping" noises as she breathed in and out. I'm SO glad I had it checked out. Turns out amoxicillin won't touch walking pneumonia, but Azithromax does, and I'm happy that I only have to give it to her once a day for five days. Hopefully we'll both be on the mend soon!
We saw the doctor this morning, and thankfully she does not have strep. She does, however, have sounds in her left lung that the doctor characterized as possible "walking pneumonia". I'm not frantic at all about that, and I suspected it because I kept hearing "rasping" noises as she breathed in and out. I'm SO glad I had it checked out. Turns out amoxicillin won't touch walking pneumonia, but Azithromax does, and I'm happy that I only have to give it to her once a day for five days. Hopefully we'll both be on the mend soon!
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