My milk supply is dwindling.
I've been pumping since early April, to get ready for my April 16th return to full-time teaching. And there have been days, especially in the last week, when my ridiculous schedule at school has prevented me from pumping at all during the school day. Nursing seems to still be going well...I haven't had to supplement when we're at home together. But I've now burned through my frozen stash, and the bottles I got together for tomorrow (well, later today...) are about half breastmilk and half formula. And I can't believe how sad this is making me.
I won't give up without a fight, I tell myself, which includes: taking Fenugreek twice a day, drinking lactation tea, drinking a lot more water (I'm not good about that), pumping more frequently when I'm at home, and pumping for longer periods of time, even after no more milk is coming out. I don't really know what else I can do, but I am willing to consider prescription medication if these other things don't work. So now I've just been moping around with this constant aching sadness...I don't. want. to. stop. nursing. yet. And neither does K, that's been made perfectly clear to me. I'm not against formula at all...I'm just not ready to quit nursing yet. It's too soon. If I can make it through next Thursday, there's hope...that's the last day of school, and I won't have to rely on pumping for the rest of the summer. I keep thinking of these adoptive moms who are able to re-lactate and nurse their adopted infants...if they can do it, so can I. Damn it.