My family has splintered.
That's the phrase that keeps running through my head. For the past almost-thirteen years, my extended family and I have worshipped at the same church: my aunt, my uncle, my grandmother, and me (and now little K too). K was baptized there last April third, the night before Easter, so yesterday was her baptismal birthday, so to speak. And my aunt and uncle are her godparents. Over the past year or so, there has been a lot of strife in our congregation because so many people, my uncle included, aren't happy with the way the pastor has (well, hasn't) been doing his job. A few weeks ago my uncle decided not to attend our church anymore, and has instead been investigating other churches to find a new church "home". I know full well it isn't about me whatsoever, but neither he nor my aunt bothered to let me know, and instead I found out from my grandmother that most likely I won't ever see him at our church again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My aunt chose to stay...she is the church council president, a lot of people are depending on her, she has lots of good friends at the church, and she really cares about the well-being of the church and its congregation. A lot of the time, though, she's so busy doing church council things, singing in the choir, and deaconing, that she doesn't even sit with us during the services anymore. My grandmother's advancing age prevents her from attending every Sunday, though she goes whenever she feels up to it. So whereas before we used to all sit together and I could pretty much count on seeing everyone there every Sunday, now we're missing one family member for sure, and often we don't get to see the others, either.
It makes me incredibly sad. Sad, and angry/hurt that neither my aunt nor my uncle seem to care enough about K or me to even fill us in, as though my uncle doesn't think that his absence even makes an impact on us. Almost thirteen years, and now everything's changed. Not to mention that my aunt and uncle are K's godparents...I don't even know what to make of that. Hopefully time will help to ease how sad I feel about all this.