As I mentioned in my last post, the way I feel about our mom-and-daughter family being "it" varies by the day, and today is no exception. I look forward to feeling "done" and feeling good about it, able to look forward to the future and watching my girl grow. Just for fun, today I was looking in the Craigslist ads at RVs, of all things! I could totally see a mom-and-daughter RV trip in our future, maybe with one of K's friends along. I would love to have a pop-up trailer, even though I'm pretty sure our current car wouldn't be sufficient for towing it. Not one of those huge fifth wheels or anything, just a little trailer. And don't even get me started on the "tiny house revolution" I keep hearing about! I LOVE those tiny houses! And would I realistically be able to envision one with me and TWO kids?! Highly doubt that. We are looking forward to skipping town on Wednesday night, heading for NY for my parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary, and one kid is pretty easy. Two kids, probably a bit more challenging. So there it is. Today is better, thank goodness.
I think my friend J might be having a bit of a harder time with being "done"...maybe not...she is currently looking into FET with donor embryos in New Mexico: $450 for the initial visit, they do have embryos "in stock", and the FET is $6500. But that clinic does require several visits, so if I were to actually consider pursuing it, I'd have to check out the driving distance from Colorado. And who would watch K? Plus, the cost of FET at our current clinic is $3000, so it's more than twice as much. Decisions, decisions.
For today at least, I just want to feel HAPPY. I have hated waking up lately, because the moment I wake up in the morning, it seems to take a few moments to remember that my FET and second-baby dreams have most likely died, and then it hits me all over again like a ton of bricks. But then I just have to look at this sweet face, and my spirits start to lift...
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