Just Us Girls

Just Us Girls

...one SMC's adventures in single motherhood.

Thursday, March 24, 2011



I can't believe it. I've been processing this turn of events since Tuesday. Her little glasses haven't come in yet, but I know I'll feel better about it once they arrive (hopefully tomorrow). She's *very* farsighted, and her prescription is a strong one. Our next appointment with Dr. Lee is at the beginning of June, when he'll reevaluate the state of her vision and decide what's next, or perhaps tweak her prescription. The next step might be patching (to be worn with the glasses) and potentially surgery down the road. But Dr. Lee did say that he'd be very surprised if she actually ends up needing the surgery.

So what's on my mind, exactly?
  • Does this make my baby "special needs", since babies with glasses are relatively rare?
  • The unbelievable cost. I spent $500 on her glasses on Tuesday, and I'm afraid to even ponder how quickly she'll grow out of them. She's only 12 1/2 months old, and she's growing fast. I can't add her to my vision plan until November, so I'm stuck with these kinds of expenses until then.
  • Will insensitive strangers make comments or even worse, make fun of her? How will I handle stupid questions??
  • Buyer's remorse. I REALLY wish I had shopped around more before I placed the order for her glasses. I received horrible customer service at the children's eyeglass place that's located right inside the Children's Eye Center, especially as a first-time buyer of glasses for a baby. I should've just walked away and gone somewhere else. But I do like the frames I did order...sweet pale pink with an elastic band that goes around the back of her head. I just hope they fit...what if they're not the right size? I mean, are these things returnable?!
  • So many options for frames for babies and toddlers...lots of decisions down the line as she grows and I have to buy new pairs. I can barely pick out frames for myself, which is why I haven't owned a pair of glasses in over ten years. (I wear contacts.)
  • I really should order a pair of glasses for myself in the near future, which seems to be the general consensus of many other parents of babies in glasses...they say it helps when Mom wears 'em, too.
  • Will the extra costs of keeping K in glasses be too prohibitive for trying again for baby #2? Which brings me to...why on earth can't I just be happy with the idea of only one child?? I can't really fathom spending a grand on each attempt that MIGHT NOT WORK now that I know how much a thousand bucks means for K and me. That's more than a month of daycare costs. And can I even risk waiting another year and trying again when I'm almost 43?
Okay, so you can see from the last unrelated bullet that I have more on my mind than just the glasses issue, but it all seems to lead into something else. Oh, and I also started a list of resources for parents of babies with glasses...just for me, but maybe it'll help someone else in the same boat, who knows.


  1. "How will I handle stupid questions??" I say punch them...seriously though I'm sure you'll handle any insensitive inquiries with grace.

  2. Insensitive strangers are just that--walk away. When your daughter is old enough to understand their comments (which I hope there will be few to none) you'll think of something to say to put them in their place. I am a special education teacher who used to do EI for birth to three. Depending on your state's system, she may or may not be eligible for services. Put that's a paper label, not who she really is and what she will grow to be. I think I better email you the rest...this comment is already too long!

  3. I'm guessing you will get a lot more comments on how cute she looks with the glasses! Post pics when you get them, I can't wait to see her.

  4. My little nephew wears glasses, and probably needed them a lot sooner than when he actually got them. (around age 4) He is ADORABLE in them and no one has ever said anything to him (as far as I know.) It just is--- kids that age are pretty accepting.

    I just read Laraf's comment and hopefully, your state is one where she's eligible for services!

  5. I've known a few babies with glasses, and I think they look cute. That is the reaction I've seen from most people. I've worn glasses since I was 8 years old, and I know it's not the same, but I don't look at glasses on babies as being indicative of special needs at all. Some of us just need a little extra help. My niece had a friend who's worn glasses since she was a toddler, and she was never made fun of. I asked my niece if anyone had, and she said why in the world would anyone do that. Which is a big change from when I was a younger. In terms of cost, I find that if I squirrel away a little each pay, it might help when you have to put out the next amount as she needs new glasses.

    As for baby #2, I want baby #2, and I think about the cost, the fact that they will have to share a room. I stress to think that my finances will be extremely tight and stretched to the limit, the IVF process and that it might not work. Yet when I think of the alternative, I can't shake the feeling that my family is not done. I also feel that L needs a sibling, and part of me feels that she might be able to deal with being a donor kid with someone else who shares her story. So I understand your wanting to have another baby and your feelings like you should be satisfied, I'm there. I'm sorry this is been so stressful for you.