Just Us Girls

Just Us Girls

...one SMC's adventures in single motherhood.

Monday, June 6, 2011

What would I do without you?!

I'm not sure how I would have made it this far in my decision-making process without all of the incredibly helpful comments I've received...seriously, you choice moms are amazing, and I thank you from the bottom of my indecisive heart!!! Lara (This May Be a Dream Come True) is absolutely right that emotional support during this time is critical, and I have to say, except for you wonderful ladies, I don't really have the kind that I need. The kind of emotional supporters that I need tend to "get it" in the ways that my friends who are moms (friends with supportive partners) just don't. No fault of their own, only that they're not in the same position that choice moms are, so they don't know our unique challenges. Challenges, I suppose, that other single moms face, but many other single moms by circumstance still receive financial support, for example. I still have this feeling that because I am consciously choosing this path, I'm "asking for it", including "asking for" all of the challenges that come along with raising two children on my own. Why am I not content with one? People automatically understand that there is a "pull" for some women to become a mom, so they understand the strong desire to follow this path and have A child. But I succeeded in having my child, so that should be enough, right? I achieved that goal. Why do I want to make my life that much harder by having two? Which is one of the questions I keep asking myself. THANK YOU ALL for listening to my waffling and for commenting with such thoughtful, caring, thought-provoking comments. Seriously, thank you. Your comments mean more and are helping far more than you know.

Extra-special thanks goes out to Navigating the Rapids (we'll barrel through this decision-making process together, somehow) who seems to be at the same place as I am. It is SO helpful to know that I am not the only person at this crossroads. Extra-special thanks also goes out to Lara at This May Be a Dream Come True, who is my hero because she's doing--and making it look easy--exactly what I would like to try to do: raising two vibrant, healthy, happy boys (in my case, though, one of them is a girl!) who do keep her on her toes! I love ALL of your comments, and they've been so helpful! Huge thanks also go out to Meg, Genkicat, MeAndBaby, hopefulcc, Shannon and SingularDesire for your thoughtful comments!! I admit it--I'm a bad, terrible, no-good commenter (I do comment in my head all the time, but obviously that doesn't count!!) so I especially appreciate the fact that you DO comment even though I don't reciprocate very well. I know I can do better, and I need to make more effort to do so. Please don't give up on me! I am SOO grateful that you all are out there, listening to me ramble, and helping me through this crazy journey of figuring it all out!!!

3 comments:

  1. Thank YOU, Heather, for talking about this so openly. I believe it's completely normal to go back and forth on any decision, especially a big decision like this. It's how you'll figure out it all out, including what the right decision is for you and K.

    Also, it sounds like the only thing you're "asking for" is to grow your family in love and enjoy everything that comes with it. No doubt it would be hard, but you're going into this with your eyes wide open. So whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. And we will absolutely be here for you!

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  2. I'm happy to share my experiences --thank you for all the kind things you said about my boys! It's not that you are "not content" with your daughter. Certainly, you can appreciate the priceless gift and the fullness she has brought to your life and still think about growing your family. The two are not mutually exclusive.

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  3. I agree with hopeful - yeah, it'll be harder, but so very worth it in the end. I don't think you'll ever look at your life with two children and wish you'd only had one, no matter how hard it gets.

    As for commenting - we all know the ability to comment comes and goes, depending on what stage your LO is in. It happens to us all!

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