Squeaky clean

As in, I had my first baby shower last Friday!! And it was *awesome*.
I'm still feeling completely overwhelmed by everyone's amazing generosity. That, and I'm drowning in pink!! I guess I hadn't fully realized that a love of all things pink seems to be a prerequisite to having a daughter... Nothing against pink, per se, but MAN, I now have a lot of it! Honestly, in order to preserve my sanity (and my eyes!), I think from now on I will consciously seek out cute baby things in non-pink colors. I'm glad that I didn't choose an all-pink bedding set for her room!

So it was a joint baby shower thrown by my colleagues at work for both me and my coworker named Sarah, who is due on February 6th and is now officially 1 cm dilated...crazy! (What really blows my mind is the knowledge that basically, either one of us could go into labor at any time and have our baby girls, like, tomorrow or something--and am I ready? Nooooo...) Like I said, I'm completely bowled over by the generosity of the people I work with, and, I have to say, of some people I don't even work all that closely with! I can't get over the beautiful little things (and necessities) they "showered" me with! Because I was curious, I counted up the number of staff members who either gave me a gift or went in on a gift with others: 43!! I feel completely blessed and humbled by that, I tell you.

I have close to half of my thank-you cards done, and unfortunately I've run out, so it's off to Tar.get for me tomorrow to buy more. I wish I could find a way to adequately express the gratitude I feel, especially as someone who has struggled at times with the utter isolation of going through a pregnancy alone. Cognitively I know that of course, I'm not alone--there are a lot of people who care about me and this baby girl, and who wish the best for us. But the reality is they are not there 24-7 like a spouse or significant other would be, so it's still easy to give in to feeling utterly *alone* at times. But still...according to the ticker at the bottom of my blog, I now have 45 days until delivery. Forty five!! And that's not even completely accurate, since my OB plans to induce around week 39. Not a whole lot of time, people. And I still feel like I have a huge to-do list looming overhead. Such as...

• Finish my will using a template that my awesome cousin-in-law (lawyer) put together for me, which leads to...
• "Officially" ask my cousin and her husband (not sure which cousin yet) if they'll be willing to be her guardians in case anything should happen to me
  
• Buy a carseat!! (kind of important, since the hospital won't let me take her home without one)
• Finish packing my hospital bag
• Register at the hospital
  
• Deep-clean my whole house!! (making progress, but not there yet)
• Get all things baby shower put away (the tiniest things she'll wear the soonest are being laundered even as we speak)
• Buy a crib mattress, even though I don't need it right away--but in all honesty, I want it set up, like, tomorrow, just to feel "ready"
  
• Set up the co-sleeper next to my bed
• Finish hanging things up on the walls of her room
• Ideally, settle on a NAME! But in all honesty, I feel the need to actually meet her first to know for sure...
• Finish my sub plans for the first week or so I'll be gone from school (thankfully, after I put together roughly a week's worth, then it's up to my long-term sub to do the rest)
• Still looking for childcare starting in August
  

I know there is more, but these are the ones that come to mind first. And thanks for humoring me...this list is more for me than for your reading pleasure, and it helps! The first baby-related class starts on January 30th, and the four-week childbirth class finishes up at the end of next month. No guarantees as to whether I'll make it that long, but I plan to glean as much information as I can before then! My pal Lisa is going to take the classes with me, and they're going to consider us two halves of a "couple" so we can each pay half price. She's not due till July, but like me, she too appreciates being able to take them with a friend rather than on her own.

Speaking of Lisa, I found out today that she recently discovered the likely genders of her twins...fraternal twin BOYS!! I get the sense that she's a bit disappointed she's not having one of each, but it's still so early (about 13 weeks or so) and her doctor isn't 100 percent about the genders of both of them. One almost definitely is a boy, and the other...pretty sure, but could be wrong... I'm thrilled for her nonetheless. I can get my "boy fix" by hanging out with her and her boys, and she can get her "girl fix" by hanging out with us! And she's been "outed" at school, too--she's most definitely sporting a bump these days! (Can't wait to see how big she'll be once I get back from my maternity leave!)

So in the meantime, I'll be here, chipping away at my to-do list, trying not to freak out about the BIG changes ahead in my life (not doing such a great job at that right now), getting excited about baby shower #2 coming up on February 13th, and trying (operative word) to be productive and get it all done! Sad to say, when I start feeling completely overwhelmed (like I did this past weekend), I tend to shut down and not do *anything* rather than pick something small and conquer that. Still working on that one. Unfortunately the mundane rigors of life don't stop when you're waiting to meet your little one... :)