Just Us Girls

Just Us Girls

...one SMC's adventures in single motherhood.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Too good to be true?

Well, I really enjoyed last Sunday's childbirth class, but tonight's? Yeah, not so much.

Everything was fine until the very end: we watched a lengthy video all about relaxation techniques and ways to manage the pain in early labor, we practiced breathing through the tougher contractions (simulated by--no joke--squeezing one hand into a bag full of ice cubes for a minute or so), and some discussion of pain management interventions like analgesics and the almighty epidural.

Tonight was Lisa's first class, since the weather was awful last Sunday and she lives over a half hour away. I had already spoken with the instructor last week about the fact that we had been approved by the health organization we had registered with prior to the class: Lisa and I are both single moms-to-be without partners, we are both pregnant, and we hoped to take the class together, paying one couple's fee ($75.00) even though we are not technically a "couple", i.e. pregnant mom and labor coach. Last week the instructor told me that it wouldn't be a problem to give Lisa a book (hello, paperback magazine-type book, not something you could buy in a bookstore, etc.). So Lisa approached this woman and asked her about a book, and the instructor told her, out of my earshot until I walked up to join them, that the class is intended for one pregnant mom and one labor coach. She said something like, "They wouldn't approve of what's going on here." or "I don't like what's going on here." (Lisa was fuming after this woman said that to her.) Excuse me, but what's going on here? Nothing is going on here. We are not trying to pull the wool over anyone's eyes or swindle anyone or double-dip. I specifically asked the two women who work at the health organization where you register for the classes if Lisa and I could register to take the class together, explaining our single mom-to-be status, to make sure it wouldn't be a problem, that we wouldn't be accused of double-dipping, and they both said, oh no, no problem whatsoever. But apparently now it's a problem for the instructor. So now I will be calling this same health organization back tomorrow (and most likely talking to one of the two women I have already talked to about this) to find out what we should do. The last thing I want is for there to be any animosity or hostility from this instructor at the remaining two classes. It's hard enough that we are surrounded by happy couples (on Valentine's Day, no less), all the while knowing that we will be parenting our babies without partners to help us out. As Lisa put it to the instructor, "Surely there are other single mothers out there without labor coaches who want to take a childbirth class? What do they do?" (Apparently it wouldn't be a problem if either Lisa or I were NOT pregnant as well.) I'm ticked off because I made a point of asking two different people when I registered whether it would be a problem if my pregnant friend were to take the class with me. Everyone assured me that no, it would most definitely not be a problem. And it wasn't for the instructors who taught the newborn care class and the breastfeeding class that Lisa and I have already taken. This lady apparently takes issue with it. *sigh*

Time will tell.

In other news, relative to the previous post, NO, I guess I'm not all that close to delivery. But I still have a full two weeks until induction, so maybe that's a good thing. Tomorrow at my next monitoring appointment, my fabulous ob will be checking to see whether I'm dilated and/or effaced. Can't wait to find out where I stand.

Oh, and Saturday's baby shower was FABULOUS! But interestingly enough, I have been feeling some complicated emotions since then, which I will save for a future post.


  1. If your emotions are anything like what I've been going through, it's pretty heavy. I hope you are feeling well.

    Yea, that is very uncool about the child prep teacher's comment. Sounds like she is clueless (and a little bit bigoted if you don't mind my saying). Hopefully it will be cleared up once you speak to someone else at the center. I expect it's new territory for her and her knee-jerk reaction is unfortunately unpleasant (too much octo-mom press probably). Why should she even care? If I were you I would have the higher-ups clear it up with her and never mention it again. Shift your focus to you and your friend in the class, and your successful birth, and try to let it go. Sigh. If only these small people we occasionally encounter would realize that little things really do mean a lot when you just need acceptance, and ease.

    Wow--and you'll be induced on the 2nd! It must feel amazing to know when! For me it's the anticipation that's hard right now. It's exciting, but gee it sure does make planning difficult! :)

  2. Ugh... there is always something isn't there. I'm sure you will get it all straightened out with the class though. At the one class I went to we did the bag of ice holding trick too, and a couple of other things.

    My doula was great while I was in labour using pressure points to relieve the back labour. And it really, really worked - Got me through a lot of painful contractions until I got the epidural.

    So exciting - 2 weeks!

  3. @Jo: Yeah, I really do want to blog some about the emotions I mentioned, especially as life as I've known it is about to change so drastically! I think I'll feel better if I can get it out onto the screen. I think the instructor is bigoted, too. I went and talked to the registration people today, and the person in charge of ALL the classes says he'll be calling her to let her know all is well. I hope she won't resent me for following up about it. (Both Lisa and I were wondering why she would even care.)

    @Genkicat: I didn't realize the ice-holding trick was a common thing--guess it makes sense, though. :) So far baby girl is head down and facing posterior, so here's hoping I won't have MUCH back labor. One never knows, though! I'm so glad you had a doula to help you out. I loved reading your birth story...I'm so sorry a few things didn't go well (the evil resident) though! I so hope I won't have any nurses or residents like that! But thank goodness Rhian is doing well!! :)