Words cannot even describe how beautiful this is...

My cousin Jen (along with her husband Chris and her fabulous son Kyle) has a brand-new daughter! My heart is so full right now that I can't even put it all into words. AnXiang--her American name will be Lorelei--is their newly adopted beautiful Chinese daughter, and the pictures of their new family of four are simply spectacular! AnXiang is the answer to many, many prayers, and she is equally thrilled to be joining their family. Just check out her beautiful smile:

I can hardly believe their dream has finally come to fruition! Check out Jen's blog with their complete story here. Even though they don't speak the same language, I love how AnXiang and Kyle are "two peas in a pod" (in Jen's words):


I love happy endings (and beginnings!)!! Sending so much love to this incredible new family!

Born with a Broken Heart

My cousin David's band, David Wax Museum! They're based out of Boston, and they performed at a house concert at my cousin Beth's house in Denver tonight. David and Suz are two of the sweetest people I think I've ever met, and we all had a blast! This song is my favorite, and I LOVELOVELOVE the video! Simply put, despite the title, this song just makes me happy.

"Born With A Broken Heart" from Anthem Multimedia on Vimeo.

Onward!

Onward in so many ways. I am now back in school (just teacher stuff, kids show up next Wednesday) and K is back in daycare...with her first cold, it appears. She's only been back for two and a half days! Sheesh. I'm hoping it's just the sniffles. I'm feeling a little scratchy this morning, so it's off to find the Cold Eeze.

So far things have been going well in the new Toddler Room...she's had good days ever since we started this past Wednesday. She's been sleeping well on her cot, she's been eating fairly well, and she's already found toys she loves. I really think she enjoys playing with the other kids, and the outside toddler playground is *fabulous*. That's one of the best selling points of this daycare for me...wood chips all around and SO much great playground "equipment" sized just right for toddlers! The neighborhood parks don't even compare for someone her size. Oh, and I really like her new teachers...I wasn't so sure about one of them at first, but now I know what she's really like, and she's terrific.

I am off to Denver on Tuesday morning to pick up some...um...frozen genetic material! :) What's really great about my sperm bank is the fact that if I can show up in person with my own cooler plus dry ice, the handling fee is only $20. Shipping is over $100 more than that. I live less than an hour from Denver, so I think it's going to work really well. My sperm bank is actually located in Loveland, an hour and a half away, but they have a satellite office in Denver, which is SO much more convenient. I'll drive from Denver right back to my RE's office so they can put the little swimmers in their deep freeze until early September. I still have to get a little bit of bloodwork done, hopefully today at an outpatient lab, but everything else is done and ready for my next cycle. It may sound a little nonsensical, but I plan to buy the sperm only one vial at a time instead of buying several and storing them. This will be my last baby, so I see no reason to buy ahead...I don't want to have any leftovers, so I'm going to take it one cycle at a time. Plus, with daycare, I'm a girl on a budget! Fortunately our donor hasn't sold *any* units over the past month and a half, so there is still a good supply. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the whole endeavor.

K and I are off to Denver tonight with my aunt, uncle, and grandmother to see my cousin's band, David Wax Museum, give a house concert at my cousin Beth's house! I am beyond excited...David's band has been performing across the country and internationally to rave reviews, and I can't believe I get to see them play in my cousin's living room!! They're in Denver to film a music video, and my cousins offered to host this house concert--they jumped at the opportunity. I'll let you know how it goes. :) Can't wait!

Very sad news in SMCland...baby Finn and baby Carys have some challenges ahead of them, and their mamas are needing some serious support...my heart hurts for them. Please stop by and give them some love when you get a chance.

First haircut!

The official "before" picture...I can't believe how long her hair had grown in the back!
(Does this count as a baby mullet?!)

"I'm not so sure about this, Mom..."

"Well, maybe it's okay, as long as I can watch this here TV..."

So far, so good!

"All done! Now get this pink cape offa me!"

The finished product, along with a little pink bow we got to pick out!

She wasn't keen on actually sitting in the car chair for the haircut itself (she sat on my lap instead), but once it was all over, she was fine with the photo op!

"So what's everyone else doing? And more importantly, can they see my little pink bow?!"

"I give this haircut experience five stars!"

"Mom, I really like this car thing! Can I drive us both home?"

Eleven days. And counting, but trying not to...

Eleven days until I have to report [gulp] back to school for a brand-new school year! I must admit, as much as I've loved spending the summer with my girl--much like a SAHM's life would be, I imagine--I'm ready for more adult interaction! I do like the "break" that daycare provides for me, but it's still hard to be away from her for a full eight-plus hours per day. And there's just not that much time before and after school until she goes to bed. There are always the weekends, for sure, but it never quite feels like enough time together. And K is changing so much every single day!

She started walking full-time in early June, and now it's all about learning and saying new words. I started an official chronological list of the words she's started saying, and I hope I can keep up with it! She does babble all the time, and so much of it I don't understand, but more and more I am recognizing the words she is saying. She's starting to sign more, too, which is a lot of fun. I know that this school year will bring so many more dramatic changes as well.

I'm debating switching her daycare, though I don't have much time left in which to do so. She has a guaranteed spot at her daycare from last year, but I can't help wanting to investigate all my options. Thank goodness we're never locked in for the full year. If things don't "click", we can go elsewhere. I'm very nervous about her moving up to the toddler room...so many more expectations, I guess. Sometimes it seems like there just isn't much wiggle room for kids who don't necessarily follow the same routines as all the other kids. K still needs two naps per day, and I'm pretty sure they only make time for one daily nap. She'll be expected to be able to drink out of an open cup, which we're working on every day, and use a spoon, which she's getting better at. But I still consider her a fairly picky eater, and what happens when she decides she doesn't like what they're serving? Will she go hungry? I have no idea! I really need to stop by and talk with the toddler teachers, as well as have K spend at least a little time there so it won't be so new and possibly scary on her first day. Hard to believe I'm starting to think about preschool options...I swear she was just six months old a few weeks ago, lol. I'm sure it will all work out, but I'm still kinda nervous about all these changes.

Got my bloodwork results back from my RE, and things look really good. He sees no reason why I can't go forward with my plans. Good FSH levels, lots of follicles, all systems go. So my next DI will take place in early September. I have NO plans to say anything about this to anyone, friends or family, except one SMC friend who has twin boys, and she's been encouraging "round two" from the beginning. So we'll see what happens.

I'll leave you with a few pics of my parents' visit in early July...

Hangin' with Grandpa (gotta love that deer-in-the-headlights look!):

Auspicious!

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all.

~Emily Dickinson

This quote is framed in one of the ultrasound rooms at my RE's office. I sat there, as I waited for my RE, and wondered how many other women before me had gazed at the very same quote...and pondered. Did they feel hopeful? Did it make them feel sad? Did they feel inspired to keep going? I have to say, reading that quote made me smile. It made me feel as though whoever put the quote there was truly thinking about what it might be like for their patients. Yes, I did feel hopeful.

And it turns out that I might just have reason to feel hopeful. Even though we have no idea about the quality of my eggs, much to my surprise, I did show four or five follicles on the right side and seven to ten follicles on my left side. Seven to ten! During the cycle in which I conceived my sweet K, I apparently only had one follicle. So how was this possible? I even took Femara to boost things along. I love the analogy that my RE popped off with: "Well, as you know, just because you're yelling at your children doesn't mean they'll listen!" I'm a rookie at this ovulation stuff, but apparently the number of follicles can vary--or really vary--during each cycle. Oooookay. But my RE looked at me and grinned and said that so far, things look really good! I won't get the results back from my day-three bloodwork for several days yet, but as of right now, it's all systems go for T42. Still not sure whether a second child is a wise idea, but for right now anyway, I'm very excited about the possibilities...

And so it begins...

I had a very positive appointment with my RE yesterday, and it's starting to feel real that I'm going to go forward with this three-month stint of "trying". The three months are early September, October, and November, and this is my (short) window because I really want to time a pregnancy for a summer delivery while I'm out of school. If it doesn't happen during those three months, I'll reevaluate and see what I want to do next. It's definitely not an all-or-nothing deal. When I conceived K, it was on my third medicated iui. So I think it's possible. A slim chance, but still possible.

So The Plan will involve Fem.ara, pre-insemination ultrasounds to check the state of my follicles, trigger shots, and something new this time: injectibles. He also mentioned that if I so desired, I *could* do another HSG test, which apparently does increase fertility for a short period of time. That may have helped my previous success, apparently. Plus my RE did mention that his office now has new payment plans for those of us paying cash. My insurance plan does cover all diagnostic treatment, but nothing related to the inseminations themselves. But I'm prepared for that reality. And it's kinda nice to know that my financial stress related to this "try" won't last much beyond November. It was interesting to find out that during the cycle in which I conceived K, I only had one good follicle. Which I guess I knew at the time, but to hear it again from my RE really drove it home. But it was a really good follicle, apparently. All it takes is one, right? Something else I'm considering is acupuncture. I have NO idea how to find a good acupuncturist here, since as far as I know, no one I know has ever had acupuncture. It's worth asking about, I suppose. Falls into the can't-hurt-might-help category.

One surprising detail my RE mentioned is the statistic that in women my age (41), 90 percent of their eggs are chromosomally abnormal. What a depressing statistic! And a little hard to believe, considering how many pregnancies in 40+-year-old women I've read about. Successful pregnancies that result in real live take-home babies. Maybe it's true, I don't know. My goal is to put that out of my mind (or attempt to do so, anyway) and give September through November my all. I've concluded that even though I still go back and forth about the wisdom of having a second child, I'm happy I'm going forward with this and at least giving another pregnancy a try. Even if it doesn't succeed. Maybe God has other plans for us. :)