SOO funny--and surreal--yesterday. Right before my students were about to begin brainstorming and drafting a baseline paragraph assessment, kind of a big deal at our school, two girls came up to me, Alyssa and Tori:
Alyssa: "Ms. Mills, can I ask you a question?"
Me: (completely unsuspecting) "Sure..."
Alyssa: "C'mere," she says, motioning for me to lean down so she can whisper in my ear.
Me: (leaning down)
Alyssa: (in the smallest voice possible for an eleven-year-old) "Are you having a BABY?"
Me: (a beat later) "So you can tell, huh?"
I think Tori came up with Alyssa out of pure curiosity, since they sit next to one another in class. Yeah, I was wearing a dress with an empire waist, and yeah, I admit it--there was a little bump. I so didn't expect it yesterday, and as luck would have it, this class was about an hour before lunch, so the news traveled pretty fast during lunch.
Here are a few more gems from yesterday:
"Ms. Mills, are you really PREGNANT??"
Student: "What are you having?"
Me: "A puppy..."
Student: "No, REALLY!"
"Ms. Mills, they keep saying that you're pregnant. Is it TRUE?"
To my third period class, the class after the one in which I was busted:
Me: "I have a confession to make."
Me: "It's all Alyssa's fault...she busted me during the last class..."
Class: (puzzled looks)
Me: "It turns out that there AREN'T 24 kids in this class. There are actually 25, but you can't see the twenty-fifth one. He or she is very small." (They look around the room.)
Random student: "A gnome?"
Me: "Um, basically..."
Their reaction after I spelled out the news?
Student: "I KNEW it!"
Student: "I almost asked you! A couple times!"
Student: "I was going to ask, but then I saw that commercial where the guy in the elevator says congratulations on your baby to that woman and she hits him, and then I knew I shouldn't..."
"Are you having a girl or a boy?"
"Can we see pictures?"
"Will you tell us if it's a girl or boy after you find out?"
I was relieved that I didn't have to field any questions about my marital status, except for one:
Kaysia: (in a slightly scolding tone) "Ms. Mills..."
Kaysia: "But you're not married, are you?"
Me: "Well, that's personal stuff, so I'm not going to talk about that right now."
(But she still seems to accept it--she's not judgmental, even though it sounds like it here.)
Molek: "Hey, be quiet, everybody! You have to be NICE to pregnant ladies! They can't take the stress!"
SO funny. You gotta love eleven year olds! But I daresay I dealt with it pretty well. I don't really care to know what the parents are thinking or saying at home. When it comes right down to it, it's not their biznass.