Biting the bullet

• I am eight weeks and one day today, and I'm thrilled! Every day is a victory, every week a celebration. Sundays are great days because it's another week down. And the best part? I feel pretty damn good these days. NO morning sickness, really, except for rare twinges of slight nausea that I've decided don't even count. Thankfully I still "feel" pregnant, though...the boobs are definitely hurting, especially in the morning when I get up. And I'm still occasionally feeling slight cramping now and then, probably due to stretching. NO spotting, and I hope it stays that way. Oh, and unfortunately for my waistline, my appetite isn't suffering at ALL. Seriously. Everything sounds good to me, and my appetite is pretty much insatiable. I have dreams about food. It's crazy. I'm trying to keep this minor weight gain in perspective, which is hard. For the most part things are still fitting as usual, but I seem to have a little more of a "belly" these days. I really need to drink more water. A LOT more water, in all honesty. I've never been much of a water-drinker.
  

• I'm considering my summer over with on August tenth, when I take a two-day class followed by our teacher days which start on August 12th. Kids start on the eighteenth. I'm actually pretty excited to get things rolling and have other things to focus/fixate on besides this pregnancy. Summer school ends this Wednesday, so I'm planning on working in my classroom starting on Thursday.

• My next OB appointment is on August fifth, and I'm looking forward to hopefully an easy appointment that will reassure me that things are on track.

• In my heart of hearts I'm feeling increasing guilt that I don't have a father for my child (not yet, anyway). I feel nervous about those first few months after the birth. I feel insecure about the sincerity of my parents' (and others') excitement about this pregnancy. I guess I'm just kind of feeling pretty judged these days. Regrets? No, not really...but I'm even kind of questioning that these days. Hopefully it's that the hormones are magnifying these thoughts inside my pea brain. I'm hoping.