Just Us Girls

Just Us Girls

...one SMC's adventures in single motherhood.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Biting the bullet

  • I am eight weeks and one day today, and I'm thrilled! Every day is a victory, every week a celebration. Sundays are great days because it's another week down. And the best part? I feel pretty damn good these days. NO morning sickness, really, except for rare twinges of slight nausea that I've decided don't even count. Thankfully I still "feel" pregnant, though...the boobs are definitely hurting, especially in the morning when I get up. And I'm still occasionally feeling slight cramping now and then, probably due to stretching. NO spotting, and I hope it stays that way. Oh, and unfortunately for my waistline, my appetite isn't suffering at ALL. Seriously. Everything sounds good to me, and my appetite is pretty much insatiable. I have dreams about food. It's crazy. I'm trying to keep this minor weight gain in perspective, which is hard. For the most part things are still fitting as usual, but I seem to have a little more of a "belly" these days. I really need to drink more water. A LOT more water, in all honesty. I've never been much of a water-drinker.
  • I'm considering my summer over with on August tenth, when I take a two-day class followed by our teacher days which start on August 12th. Kids start on the eighteenth. I'm actually pretty excited to get things rolling and have other things to focus/fixate on besides this pregnancy. Summer school ends this Wednesday, so I'm planning on working in my classroom starting on Thursday.
  • My next OB appointment is on August fifth, and I'm looking forward to hopefully an easy appointment that will reassure me that things are on track.
  • In my heart of hearts I'm feeling increasing guilt that I don't have a father for my child (not yet, anyway). I feel nervous about those first few months after the birth. I feel insecure about the sincerity of my parents' (and others') excitement about this pregnancy. I guess I'm just kind of feeling pretty judged these days. Regrets? No, not really...but I'm even kind of questioning that these days. Hopefully it's that the hormones are magnifying these thoughts inside my pea brain. I'm hoping.


  1. Wow, we are less than a week apart!

    About the daddy thing--yea. That's been sticking with me more than I expected since I got the BFP. Things like tv commercials, where a daughter asks her dad for advice or something, really set me off. Part of me thinks--that story isn't over! There could be a daddy out there! Single moms and divorced moms, etc find partners all the time. Why not me? I'm going with that hope for now.

    Glad you're looking forward to school. I know what you mean about distraction!

  2. Hi Jo,

    I don't think the story is over for me, yet, either. That's also what I told my parents when first explained what I wanted to do--that I haven't given up on marriage whatsoever, but that it appears that it'll take a little more time to find the right person, but I don't have much time left to have a child, reproductively speaking. (I know I haven't convinced them, but whatever! :) I'm so excited that we're only a week apart!!